The Wall

When most runners think of The Wall, I would bet that they think of that mental block that pops up around mile 20.  Now, I've never run a marathon, so I don't know what this is like at all, and I don't pretend to.  While I was running today, I got to thinking about my own situation and realized that I've had a wall in my life for the past two years, since I picked up running.  Before today's run I weighed myself (and a good thing, because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have known that I sweated out about 2.8 pounds of water).  I weighed in at 204 pounds.  Four stinking pounds stand between being a 200-something pound woman and a woman who hasn't been in the 100-somethings since middle school.

Over the past two years, whenever I get to this point, I freak out.  I can't do it.  I sabotage myself.  I hit this mental wall that tells me I'm not good enough to break through.  I think having this revelation will really help me.  In the past, my future happiness hasn't been enough to keep me motivated.  I don't know how to be anything other than fat.  What will I do when I'm not obese anymore (that is a ways off - 184 pounds and I'm "overweight")?  Who knows.  I won't have anything to hind behind, that's for sure.  But I won't find out unless I get there, and I think it's worth finding out.

Today I ran 6 miles in 1:17:38.  That's slow, by most people's standards.  Not for me!  I'm getting faster, and I can feel it with every run.

13:36

13:21

13:45

13:31

These are my paces for 4 recent runs around the 6 mile distance.  Today's pace was 12:53.

Hope everyone has a great start to their week!