Bumming

Lame way to try and start a new healthy lifestyle, eh?  Maybe it was just poor timing.  I didn't go running during the last week of the semester (I blamed it on finals and the fact that I had to move, which is almost fair, but I really could have found the time), and I didn't bring my running shoes home with me.  That was stupid, I really should have.  My thought process was that I was leaving Massachusetts in the middle of a blizzard and that there would be no way I could run in those conditions, which is true.  There's no way I could run in 15 degree icy conditions.  There was snow completely covering everything at home for a good while.  That is, there was snow up until Christmas, when temperatures reached 50 and all of the snow and ice melted.  Now I'm kicking myself because not only is there no ice or snow, but the temperatures are ideal for me!  There's nothing I can do about it now.

I'm also failing in the nutrition realm of things.  The house is always full of baked goods, and they always seem to find their way into my mouth.  This morning I woke up and decided to eat a real meal at the start of my day instead of eating cookies or cake.  I poured myself a bowl of Smart Start (arguably my favorite cold cereal) and grabbed the soy milk from the fridge.  I opened said soy milk, only to discover it was bad.  It's been in the fridge since Thanksgiving.  Instead of making oatmeal or eating dry cereal, I decided it was a good idea to eat Toaster Strudels (you know, those sugar packed "fruity" toaster pastries made with high-fructose corn syrup?) and a cookie.  The sooner I get back to my place the better.  There are simply too many temptations here that I am not yet ready or able to resist.  Hopefully in a few months, in the same situation I'll have no problem.

So not only am I doing absolutely NOTHING, but I get upset when I think about what I could be doing.  Agh!  I just want to be back at school with my gym and my routine.

Finals

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Haven't you heard? Finals are here! Hooray!

But seriously, I'm really tired. Yesterday I had three papers due. Thursday I was pretty much writing for a full 24 hours aside from my one hour radio show, meals, a meeting, and the 5 hours of sleep I managed to get (and I'm pretty darn cranky when I don't get at least 8). I made an effort to get to the gym on Thursday, but the world seemed to be against me. It's probably better that it happened that way in any case, because my quads and glutes were pretty sore from lunges on Wednesday. When I say pretty sore, I mean I felt it with every step I took. So I couldn't get to the gym yesterday morning (finals were all due in the afternoon), so I went right after I handed my last one in. I was pretty tired, having only slept 5 hours, but I managed to run about a combined total of 13 minutes during intervals, I rowed for 25 minutes, and I biked for 10 minutes as a cool down. I really wish it were warmer and not so icy (Massachusetts was just hit with a HUGE ice storm - power is out all over the state) so that I could run outside, but I suppose I should just suck it up and shut up about it. The weather won't change just because I want it to.

I haven't been eating well lately. Finals time prompts a lot of my friends to bake, and I consequently eat whatever they decide to throw in the oven. Tonight is one of my best friend's birthday parties (good thing I don't drink, what a waste of calories!), and beforehand they're going to be making gingerbread houses at her apartment. My goal for the night is to not pick at the candy laid out and to make a house for someone else and not myself.

I got the keys to my new apartment yesterday (a block away from where I currently live) so I'll be moving starting tomorrow, hopefully. I have a little bit of time before I have to go to work, but I'm going to get in a workout. No point in starting to move when I don't know which bedroom I'm taking and I've barely started to pack.

56 degrees in December

I woke up this morning sweating due to the uncharacteristically warm weather coupled with my winter tendency to sleep with three comforters. Anyway, I soon got over the fact that not staying in bed all day was not part of my future, grabbed a little bit of food so I wouldn't be running on an empty stomach, packed my shower necessities (my house doesn't have hot water, go figure), and put on my running clothes. Though it is incredibly warm for this time of year, it is also raining. I decided that I wouldn't get another opportunity to run outside without slipping on ice and cracking my head open for quite some time, so I took advantage of the day in spite of the rain.

It was really only drizzling when I set out and it didn't really ever get to be a problem. The wind bothered me much more so than the rain: it was blowing at 27 mph and gusting up to about 40. For a good portion of the run, I was moving into the wind, and it felt like I might be able to go faster if I were to just walk, but I kept going anyway. It soon became apparent how out of shape I am. Not that I was in good shape before I stopped working out, but I was certainly in better shape than I am now. The lactic acid started building up in my muscles about 8 minutes into my run, but I tried to ignore it for the most part. I pushed myself, but after about 18 minutes I decided I shouldn't push myself too far on my first day back at running. No point in risking injury because I'm too enthusiastic. I stretched and then threw in some lunges and squats - I really have to rebuild those leg muscles!

So it seems like I'll have to reevaluate one of my first goals, which was to run 1.5 miles in one go. Today I ran, according to Google maps, 1.59 miles at about 11:30 pace. Not terribly bad for someone who hasn't run in over three months and has since gained 20 pounds. So I'm altering the goal: run 1.5 miles on a treadmill. God, I hate treadmills. I get bored after about 5 minutes. There's nothing worse than staring at a wall while you run (or out a window if you're lucky), without the breeze against your skin, and with all the mechanical noises that come with gym equipment. I tried the whole iPod thing, but it is definitely not for me, I'd much rather focus on my thoughts and how my body is moving, and I find music distracting. When I run, I like to be able to watch the scenery around me change, zone out, and relax. I can't focus on myself on a treadmill the way I can outside. Looks like I'll have to learn to deal until winter is over.

And so it begins

So here I am for all the world to see. I've been ~60 pounds overweight, for, well, just about ever. I can't remember ever being thin, probably because I never was. I wasn't brought up in a very healthy lifestyle (though I do not fault my mother), and now that I'm out on my own, I haven't made any lasting changes. Last summer I lost 20 pounds through eating right and exercising, but once I got busy, I neglected myself. I now find my 5'6" self at a whopping 222 pounds. That's crazy! I'm only 20 years old, and in my opinion, I shouldn't have to be restricted in my life choices because of my size. So I'm putting my foot down (one after another) and making the changes myself. There's no one else to make them, after all.

So yeah, I tried the couch to 5k program, and while it's great and all (I made it to week 7/9), I didn't like its structure. I ended up adapting it to my needs, which turned out to be great; after I made the necessary alternations, I was able to complete the newly renovated program and consistently ran 20-30 minutes 4 or 5 days a week. Sadly, I didn't enter a road race while the weather was favorable. Even more saddening is that once my semester got to be too hectic, I really began to neglect my running. And by 'neglect' I mean to say that I abandoned it. My poor running shoes, how sad and lonely they must have felt. Anyway, I've started running again, I'm gradually making changes to my eating habits, and my goal for the month of December is to lose 8 pounds and to be able to run 1.5 miles at a time. That would bring me down to 214 and halfway to the running abilities that I had this past summer. Let's see how that goes!

As for the name of the blog, it's a play on a Steve Prefontaine quote: "A lot of people run a race to see who's the fastest. I run to see who has the most guts." Hopefully, I'll be able to show that yes, I've got what it takes, I'm willing to push myself and challenge myself, and I will achieve my goals. Also, at 222 pounds, I clearly have a gut ;)